Valentine's Day 2019

Valentine's Day 2019

      Valentine's Day is here and for many it can be filled with overwhelming love but for others it can be filled with much sadness.  How on a day that was created to celebrate love and romance could one feel sadness?  For me, nine years ago it was the last Valentine's day that I was able to speak to my mother and the first Valentine's day that I did not have a man to celebrate with. 

      Flashback to January 2010.  After having a wonderful week with my sisters on a cruise and then Walt Disney World and Sea World in Florida, I came home to my husband and sons.  While at Disney, I had an accident and to prevent infection the doctor put me on a sulfa drug, which I later found out I was allergic to, but because I was taking Benedryl did not know it.  Upon returning home and work, I continued to take the sulfa drug but not the Benedryl and, you guessed it, I had a severe allergic reaction and had to be taken to Urgent Care.  My then husband cared so much that he did not even bother to leave work and come get me, so, yes, I drove myself home.  The next day, he texted me and told me that he wanted out of the marriage.  Thus sending my world into a vortex that I never anticipated to happen.  My days from that moment on were filled with work and packing up the home that I believed we would be in until we retired.  February came and so did one of the worst winters that we had in quite some time.  February 7, 2010 the blizzard began, so on the 8th, while I was home I received a phone call from my sister.  My mother collapsed with a brain stem hemorrhage.   The dilemma, how do I get to Pittsburgh from Virginia in blizzard conditions.  Contacted my still husband and he told me that he would bring the Traverse home so that I could drive myself.  Yeah, real nice guy!  I just said okay, I will drive myself.  Within five minutes, he called back and told me he was taking me.  With the winter winds blowing as if mad at the world, we began our trip.  After taking over seven hours to reach Summerset, PA, we made the decision to take a hotel for the night and begin again in the morning.  Upon arrival at the hospital, the news of my mother's condition was revealed as that she was brain dead.  Not only did she have the brain stem hemorrhage, but a massive hemorrhage in the center of her brain also.  Needless to say that she was gone, though her body was still functioning because her heart was strong.  We, as a family unit, had to make a decision to let her go.  With the knowledge that my mother would soon be gone from this earth, that my husband was moving out into his apartment, the journey back home was extremely hard for me.  Inside, I was dying but I had to stay strong.   My heart was breaking but I knew that life had to go on.  

      February 14, 2010 was a Sunday.  I went to church came home and called my sister at the hospital.  I asked them to hold the phone to my mom's ear and I spoke to her for the last time here on earth.  I told her that I loved her, that she was stronger than any person that I knew, that though we missed her it was okay for her to go home and I told her Happy Valentine's Day.  On Monday, February 15, 2010, which happen to be President's Day that year.  Just as my husband finished loading up the truck and pulled out of the parking lot I received a phone call.  My mom was gone, she literally passed away the exact moment that my soon to be ex-husband drove out of the driveway.  I remember my parting words to him, I asked him "What if we had been successful to have a baby?"  He told me that I would then be his forever.  My response: "I should have been yours forever with no conditions.  That I deserved to be loved unconditionally as I loved him."  

      Since that Valentine's Day, I have come to learn that I am loved unconditionally.  Jesus, loves me this way and He teaches us that we should love others the same as He loves us.  It is not about having someone special in your life to celebrate in a seclusive way, but that everyone that is in our lives and that we come into contact with, we should be giving and celebrating love with them.  Now, do not get me wrong, I think it is wonderful to show that special someone in your life how much they mean to you, but should we wait for a designated day, or should we do it continuously throughout the year.  That for no reason at all, surprise them with a bouquet of flowers, place a card in their lunch box or just send a message letting them know you are thinking of them.  Giving your love should be a daily occurrence not just on special designated days. 

     Remember that we truly do not know what may be happening in someone's life.  Social media may make it appear that they have it all together and that their life is perfect, but truth is that appearances are not always what they seem to be.   I have learned over these past nine years that even though I did not have a special someone in my life, I was not alone.  Jesus was and is always with me and walking along side of me.  For eight years I celebrated Valentine's day without a special someone in my life and because of this, I learned that I have many special someones in my life.  I learned that love is meant to be shared to all who are within my world and beyond.  I learned that I am loved in different ways by different individuals and I should not just show them my love on one designated day, but every day.  As 2018 was coming to an end, God opened my heart to a special man and though we live in different states, he knows that my love for him grows each day.  

     So ask yourself, do you need a designated day to show them your love?  No, for every day is Valentine's day when you have love in your heart!  Remember that the definition of romance is defined as the feeling of excitement and mystery associated with love.  When you are in a relationship it is very important to keep the romance alive and it does not take just designated days to do this.  It should happen spontaneously and when least expected.  Picnics in the living room, making s'mores by a fire pit while snuggled under a blanket together, can be ways of surprising your special someone. 
     It is important though to have the greatest gift given to us in the center of any and all our relationship with all the special someones in our lives.  That gift is Jesus.  No matter what comes and happens in our relationship, with Jesus at the center, He will get see us through.  For the greatest romance that we have received, is the unconditional and mysterious love that God gives us every day.