Life Just Happens...I am Enjoying it Anyway!

Continuing Journey to Discovering Joy!

My last posting to my blog was in August of 2016. Where did the time go? How did I get to here, January 30, 2019 and not have anything to write about for two years. Did I go astray and took the wrong turn on my path to Joy?

The answer, YES! I became so bogged down with just going to work every day and then coming straight home to college work and house hold upkeep, that I lost focus on the journey that God was taking me on. Does this mean that I completed the editing of my poetry book, absolutely not! Did I complete college....no! Then how did I let the time just go by and not continue to fulfill His dreams and destiny for me.

Simply put, I became house locked! What this means is that I allowed myself to give up things and doing things and just stayed in my home 90% of the time. Yes, I went on mini vacations and trips to Pittsburgh, but my whole being became communicating through social media, vegging out in front of the TV and just staying put at my home. Was this truly were God intended all my life to STOP. Absolutely NOT!!!

I can honestly say that I allowed myself to become transfixed on nothing! I got up in the morning Monday-Friday went to work and came home...did nothing. Saturday normal store runs but then, nothing. Sunday went to church then home to college work and afterwards, nothing. I had a whole lot of nothing taking place in my life. Then in October of 2017, an opportunity for me to volunteer at the farmers market on Saturday mornings in Charles Town, WV got me out of bed at 5:30 a.m. and helping unload and set up the farmers and vendors. I, once again, volunteered for the whole season in 2018. Thus began my love of farm fresh products and clean eating slowly began incorporating itself into my life. I also made new friends that I looked forward to seeing every Saturday morning during April thru October. I also became more involved with the church that I found close to home. Sunday mornings in good weather found me walking to and from church enjoying the presence of God. I began to come out of my nothingness state of mind and began opening my life once again to the dreams that God has for me.

The 2018 year was both an awakening and a challenging year for my family. My eldest son went through a devastating divorce and my focus became to help him and his sons through this situation. Though the divorce has been settled since August of 2018, there are still major issues continuing, but through prayer and support from many, he is moving forward. For my youngest son, it was the uncertainty of when the security clearance would come through and he could begin his new job. By the way, he started January 14, 2019!!! For me, it was completing my college courses, standing strong for my sons and persevering through personal and professional issues. I, reflected back on both my Vision Boards for 2017 and 2018 and discovered that in my nothingness state, I lost hope of my dreams coming true. But you see, this is were God steps in and says, "I got you". For as 2018 was approaching its end, God brought into my life a gentleman that lit up my world. Just a simple "hello" from him would bring a smile from ear to ear. I did not spend New Year's Eve alone, for he came to be with me.

This new year of 2019 will be one of wonder and challenge. I will begin one of my final three courses in March, with the second in April and the third in May. Come June 30th, I will be done and graduation will be August 2019. I am spending February focused on my poetry book and beginning to write another book on Lily's adventures along with an inspirational photo journal. I am focused on finding a publisher that will have faith in my abilities and we will work strongly together. This year, I have rejoined my much missed, Boot Camp Party classes and begun the Naturally Slim courses to get back on track with my health. How did you get back on track? Glad you asked, this January, along with my church, we did a 21 day fast. I chose to sacrifice TV and Facebook (my only social media), this was a truly wide-eye experience to just how much TV and Facebook contributed to the nothingness that I had myself living in. The fast helped to renew my spirit, my vision and my journey with God. He never left my side, but I was leaving His. Once again God brought insight to me for today was another eye-opening experience for me. I had to confront the pain of all the rejections that I suffered from 2010, when my second marriage ended, and then 2012 through 2014 with meaningless relationships that lasted only three weeks in length and had warped my sense of worth. I had not realized just how deeply these rejections convinced me into believing that I was not worthy of a good man's love or attention. But God revealed to me that if I continued on this path and with these thoughts, I would truly lose what He was creating in my life. So, I took this snow day and spent the morning with God and addressing the pain that the rejections had created in my life. I handed them to Jesus, begging Him not to let me take any of them back and move forward with a cleansed soul, mind, heart and body.

I can truly say that I am finally back on God's path and once again continuing my journey to discovering JOY!