October 28, 2014
Temptation Tuesday! Why is it a temptation for me?
It has been twelve days since my last blog and it is not that I have been extremely busy, it is that I have been dealing with the pain of losing a friendship that I cherished. It was not a friendship were we had known each other for years, actually we only knew each other for a few months, but I thought that this could be one that would last. I was wrong. Apparently I was more into the friendship than the other individual was. It hurt to discover this, but in discovering this it has caused me to look closer at who I am and why I seem to always be so "gullible"; to being taken advantage of and treated in unkind ways.
Is it that God created me to be a door mat to people? No way!! He created me with a kind and gentle heart. Because of this, I have a tendency to get hurt more easily, but I would much prefer to love and care for people and suffer through the hurt, than to be nothing more than a cold-hearted "bitch".
I asked a friend, a true friend who always talks straight to me about being gullible, and he told me that I was a kind-heart woman that cares for people and there is nothing wrong with that. But people will take advantage of a person like me, use me and then just discard me as if I have no feelings and I am yesterday's garbage. But I am so much more than this.
Have I forgiven the person for how I was treated prior to the friendship ending, yes! God justifies all things and He will justify how people treat each other. I need to do what Jesus would expect of me. Besides, when I start looking at the friendship I realize that God meant for this person to be in my life for just a season, the Spring/Summer season to be exact. That during this season, I grew. Under the person's tutoring, I became stronger in my workouts. I have become more confident in my singing for God and I developed some truly loving and caring friendships. I discovered a woman's ministry that I want to become more involved with and that the women are dynamic and a joy to be with. That my true reason for being is for God's service, not a man. That I have someone in my life who loved me so much before I was born, that He died on the cross for me. Jesus is the greatest reason for every season of my life. He is with me Winter, Spring, Summer and Fall!!
Tuesday was tempting account, I found myself wanting to reach out and try to fix the friendship. I wanted to "beg" the person to not discard me, to forgive me for what I may have done. But then I realize, I have already been thrown out and that the individual does not even think or care about me. That I did nothing but care about this individual so why do I need to beg for forgiveness. For twelve days I been struggling and learning to "let go". I have reflected on the good times that I shared, the lessons that I have learned and how I am a better person for having known this person for the short time that we had spent together as friends. But now it is time to move forward. To enjoy every moment of each day and thank God for where He is taking me.
As October is drawing to an end, my new journey is just moments from beginning. On November 3rd I will begin college. I am a registered student of American Public University System (APUS). I will begin my Bachelor's degree for Sports & Exercise Health Science with my focus on Fitness & Wellness. I am fifty years old and discovered that I love working out. That discovering new ways to make healthy choices with my workouts and diet are uplifting and brings me joy. What an exciting and new adventure this is going to be. I am going to spend more time on my writing and photography too. The message that God's is definitely telling me, it is time to listen and be with Him and to trust Him completely. It is time to do things for me.
So the temptation was defeated. How? By prayer, trusting God and staying focused on Jesus!
No comments:
Post a Comment